Where Are They Now?

blackgivesback recently had a wonderful post about a reporter seeking to find some answers to the question of why so many our youth are dropping out of high school. Here is an excerpt:

It has been well documented in numerous studies over the past few years that only 50% of African American youth graduate from high school. The number is even lower for African American males. If you reside in Baltimore, Cleveland, Detroit or Indianapolis, hold on, it gets worse - research shows that only 35% of students receive diplomas.

So why are our youth dropping out of school? What's happening? Where are they disappearing to?

A writer for the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle in New York sought to find answers. He attempted to locate students from the 1995 kindergarten class at School 9 in Rochester, an elementary school that was on the verge of being shut down by the state for poor performance. Out of 24 students (of which all should have graduated this year), the reporter tracked down 21. Eight graduated.

Read the rest of the story here

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Forgive ME Father; Forgive MY Father.

I love my father. I hate my father. My father was my hero. My father was my worst enemy. I have forgiven my father. I will never forgive my father.

I guess it's evident that I am conflicted about my father. It is the nature of a son to evaluate the man that he's become by measuring against the man that his father was/is. According to that benchmark I am well on my way to being a great man. Unfortunately, that's because I am little like my father. During my teenage years my mantra was, "Be nothing like Dad". Through introspection and resolve and often sheer force of will I have become largely successful in achieving that goal. So why does this success fill me with pride and break my heart at the same time? Why does the peace of knowing that I've broken my father's legacy of violence and infidelity come with such a burden of guilt?

On the surface my father was a man to be admired. He was handsome and charming. He had style and was funny. My father was a hard working man, never one to sit idle for long. He provided for and took care of his household. He was the definition of a good man. Or so it seemed. The man beneath the surface was mean, unhappy and cowardly. My father's mental, physical and emotional abuse of my mother gave me determination to honor, love and respect women in a way that he wouldn't or couldn't. I guess I should thank him for that. My father's mental, physical and emotional abuse of me, however left me with a legacy of fear and self-doubt that I have spent a lifetime working to overcome.

I haven't had a meaningful conversation with my father in years. I rarely think about him, but whenever I do my heart hurts. I have many memories of my childhood with him but no good ones. I literally have no good, father-son memories. I used to have nightmares starring my father and in these I was always powerless against him. I don't have those nightmares anymore...not usually. When my father appears in my dreams now it is usually in some minor, inconsequential fashion. He no longer scares me. Yet I am deathly afraid of the man that he was. As much as I try to not think of him, he is never far from me. When I look at my physical scars I remember in vivid detail the story of each one's creation. When I find myself wrestling with my anger I am reminded of his outbursts of violence. When I face unfamiliar situations I remember being told that I was stupid or incapable. My father gave me ways to remember him.

So why am I writing this? I don't really know. I was reading a recent post about Shaq and his real biological father over on BlogXilla and it brought some emotions back to the surface. I realized that I had never really talked to anyone about my relationship with my father. I've never written one word about him. Perhaps this will be a form of catharsis for me. If only it were that easy.

I am the man my father made me. I am my own man. I am just like my father. I will never be like my father.

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When I Roar Like A Grizzly, They Say Damn He Gets Busy

(image source: Associated Press)

14 Baby!! This dude is on a whole nother level. There is no one playing today that is even approaching him! The golfing press wants to keep putting Phil Mickelson, Ernie Els and Vijay Singh out there as rivals. Please! Those three COMBINED have only won 9 major champoinships to Tiger's 14. Tiger has earned over $82 million over his career. The next guy on the list? Vijay Singh at $56 million. Here's the catch. Vijay turned pro in 1982. Tiger Woods was SEVEN YEARS OLD in 1982!

Tiger Woods' only competition right now is history. He will not only surpass Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 major wins; he's going to destroy it. If he stays reasonably healthy and competitive into his 40's he will most likely win 25 majors. I'm just glad I am in a position to witness him make history.

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Say It Aint So Don!

(image: Damian Dovarganes/Associated Press)

Don Cornelius has finally thrown in the towel. The man who was the driving force behind one of the major black cultural icons of the 70's and 80's has sold his Soul..Train that is. Madvision Entertainment has recently purchased the Soul Train franchise from Don Cornelius for an undisclosed sum. Madvision claims that they will open up the show's archives and will also produce a newer version of the show.

Soul Train was the officialness fo sho! You were guaranteed to see some fine women in some tight ass clothes. There was always going to be someone you could laugh at. The Soul Train Scramble board gave you a chance to yell at the idiots who couldn't see that the letters plainly spelled out "Kool and the Gang".

Thank you Don Cornelius for all those great moments!

Peace, Love and Souuuuuul!

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What Women Really Want

(image source)

My girl K@LiENTe over at It's Kali BayBay had an interesting post the other day called My List where she ran down some of the qualities she wants in a man. Here's a sample:

A man who loves me for me

I want to feel protected when he's around

I want a man who will cook for me and I'll return the favor

I want a man who can wear Jeans n a tee, but can also flip the script and not be scared to get his grown man on (so sexy)

I want a man who will go to church with me

That all sounds great right? I can't find fault with one thing on her list. These are the attributes of a quality dude. So why am I thinking that the average woman really doesn't want this man? Is it because this type of dude has his own standards that the average woman may not be able to meet? Is it because a high quality man wants a truly high quality woman and not one who just thinks she is? If a man has a credit score of 750 does he really want to take on you with your late payments and Neiman Marcus account in collections? If a man loves the Lord and attends church regularly does he really want you when the bouncer and the bartender know you by face but your pastor doesn't? Every positive attribute that you want to see in a man should have its equivalent in you. Now don't get me wrong; if the guy is truly a good dude he will understand that your situation may not be perfect and that you are working to improve it. But you should have that same understanding too.

This is not to be harsh ladies, cause you know Onan lubes (wink, LacyD) the ladies, but let's keep it real. You can't have higher expectations for your man than you have for yourself. If you want a high quality dude, then begin to live and carry yourself like a high quality woman. The man you're looking for will notice it. You may have to sweep aside a few toads in the meantime but the wait will be worth it.

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Politics Defined

My man J. Dakar over at Write State of Mind has provided the most succinct, in-depth and accurate definition of politics that I have ever seen.

Check it out here

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Whence Cometh My Muse?

As you can see from the date of my last post, it's been awhile since I have graced this space with my presence. I could chalk this up to my inherent laziness, and the fact that I have been extraordinarily busy with other things but that would be a lie. Many of my ideas come to me while driving but lately it seems that well has run dry. When I force myself to sit and think about this blog my mind focuses on everything else but.

I guess my main problem is that I don't have a clear idea of what I want this space to be. I know what I don't want it to be. I don't want it to be your standard urban/hip-hop entertainment gossip; there is no shortage of places that do that and do it much better than I ever could. I guess I want this space to be a window into my perspective on the world. I am an African-American man with something to say, but I don't have something to say every day. Is that bad? Am I less interesting because of it? I don't know. I know I risk losing my vast audience [/sarcasm] if I don't keep them engaged but I also risk losing them if I give them something less than my best.

Well, all I can do is ask for your patience with me as work through this process. Oh and if you see my Muse wandering around out there, please ask her to come back home. I miss her terribly!

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